Life lesson : NEVER trust jeans!

Monday, June 06, 2016

Hello again & welcome back to my page! 

You've probably already read the title but todays post is about probably my 2 most embarrassing moments of all times... Both of them happen to be about the same thing and both happened within the space of 2 weeks of each other. Yep. The two most embarrassing moments in my life all happened in the space of 2 weeks, the same place and the same thing. 

The first story 
Let this be the story that first began to my series of unfortunate events! About two weeks ago and on my way home from uni, I decided to run into the shops to grab some groceries. I was just wearing my typical black jeans, that honestly, are NOT the best quality but you know they are black jeans and I live in them... Anyways, during that day that I wore them to uni, I had several problems with the zipper. It kept coming down by itself. Weird. I thought and just zipped them up. 

So, I headed to the shops to grab some groceries, I decided I may as well grab a coffee at the other end of this gigantic shopping centre. I must add I did get a few stares and I just assumed I must be looking good that day and went with it. 

So I strutted my stuff, embraced the stares and embarked on what felt like a 2km walk towards the coffee shop. When I arrived the lady at the counter quietly said "did you know that your fly is undone?" WHAT. I was so embarrassed. Whilst waiting for my coffee I realised 3 things 
1. That is why people where 'checking' me out. 
2. I was wearing nude coloured underwear and
3. Just how long has my zipper been down for??

The more I thought about it: the worse it got. People either though I wasn't wearing undies, or that I was wearing beige granny panties. Infact it was the second. Nude Bonds granny panties. Let this be a life lesson to all. I honestly didn't think that anything could top that story for at least another 5 years. But I was in for a treat this time. 

It got worse. 
And it happened today. Let this be a lesson to all...

This morning I did everything that I would normally do. I threw on a pair of black jeans. The same pair of black jeans that let me down 2 weeks ago. I still wore them though. As I put them on, I mentioned to my boyfriend how you know if I wear black I never wear black undies and how 'funny' it would be if my jeans split and I'm wearing bright pink floral undies. Hilarious...

I decided to take a 1 hour study break and would once again, got to the shops to check out the sale at Cotton On. I bought a $5 tee. I thought I should maybe have a look to see if miraculously another shop had a pair of nice, but remotely cheap black, cropped super skinny jeans. So I head into a store to have a quick look. The cheapest pair of jeans are $130 to upwards of $200. The girl who is 'serving' me prompts me to try on a $200 pair. I panicked. Feeling pressured, I decide to try on the $130 pair. They are not cropped and I'm defiantly not feeling the price. But I do it anyways. 

As I am in the change room putting my own pair of jeans, eye rolling the whole time and thinking about how I need to get back home asap to study and how to get out of this awkward situation. I pull my beloved jeans up. In that moment and for some unknown reason: the right seam on my leg decides to give way and completely tear. Approximently 10 centimetres long. FUCK. 

I'm panicking. I didn't bring a hand bag and all I have is a wallet, see through Cotton On bag and an extremely awkward situation. And I'm praying the girl isn't going to knock on my door to see how I'm going. I think about what I'm going to do. I'm sweating. Of course I'm wearing a grey tee too... As I was just about to open the door and purchase the $130 pair of jeans because I had no other options, I decided I was just going to suck it up and get out asap. That meant doing the walk of shame showing off one half of my undies and the top of my inside right thigh. 

I tried to hold my wallet over my leg as I passed back the jeans to the girl explaining how I wanted to 'look around' first. The conversation felt like it went for 10 hours. And I waddled out of that shop as quick as I could. I waddled past another easy 20-30 shops before I approached the next reasonably priced shop. Of course, I had to explain to the ladies my embarrassment so I could purchase the pants then and there. 

If I could teach you 2 life lessons about these cringe-worthy situations it would be:

1. Always match your undies to the colour of your pants and
2. Stear clear of nude and bright floral underwear when wearing black jeans. 

I blame Bonds for the beautiful, bright and colourful assortment of underwear for this mishap. 

Do you have any embarrassing stories like these? Comment in the box below!
Colour match & stay safe in shopping malls, ladies. 

Em xx 

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