Things that are not 'that' sexy

Saturday, July 11, 2015

How many times have you watched a movie where there is a 'sexy' scene and either stared at it awkwardly or crack up laughing and think "If I did that, it would not look sexy". Well, here is a list that I have made of things that are supposed to be 'sexy' but really, are not sexy at all.

Eating a banana
Call me crazy but nothing about eating a banana is sexy. It's WEIRD. Have you ever made eye contact with a co-worker/ family member/ person that you don't know whilst putting your month down onto the banana? Yeah, weird.

Laying in bed after sex
How many movies have you seen where they have just finished having sex and they are laying there looking like they haven't been touched? Tell me how you end up with perfect hair and a bra still on? Afterwards you look like a complete mess, you have no idea where any of your clothes are and you are probably too tired to cuddle.

Hair blowing in the wind
It looks effortless on the big screen, but in reality, it's like a bird had just flown onto your head and created a home which is going to take at least 30 minutes to brush out.

Let me list a few words. Panda eyes. Face wash. Shampoo flying around. Shaving your legs. Washing the days dirt off your body. Since when did showering become sexy?

I don't feel any sort of sex appeal when it comes to exercising. Maybe it's because I enjoy wearing a baggy top and being makeup free. Seeing someone sweating their fat away doesn't wet my whistle one bit.

Getting out of a pool
I know when I get out of a pool I usually look like a drowned rat. My eyes are blood shot and my hair is slicked back. I have to heave my body out of the water, using all my strength and try to pull up one knee to pull myself out. Yeah, not sexy.

I love to dance. In public. At work. At home on my own. Where there is music, I am dancing. I don't care who sees, as long as I don't have to. I feel like I am Beyonce, hitting every move perfectly, but reality is I am more like Taylor Swift at the AMA's.

Happy Saturday.

Emily x

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