THP: love yourself!

Monday, February 29, 2016

-THE HAPPINESS PROJECT-
PART FOUR 

After spending the last few days meeting and greeting a lot of people at Uni- I started thinking about confidence. And then, a bit more than confidence. About loving yourself. Because really, a lot of our confidence comes from how we treat ourselves.

If you respect yourself & are kind to yourself it will come off in your confidence. As opposed to if you are not very comfortable with yourself, you appear as shy or unsure of yourself. Whatever you are- it's perfect. But here, is this weeks THP on loving yourself. Full of ways to improve yourself, your confidence, the way others see you, the way you treat yourself and others...


Be kind to yourself 

Have a look at yourself in the mirror- do it in the nude, do it in clothes... What do you see? Usually we can point out a million and one things that we do not like about our selves or our bodies, and when faced with the question- well, what do you actually like? It's hard to think up one thing that you love about yourself. 

"Oh my legs are tree trunks, my thighs have cellulite, I have tuck shop lady arms, my stomach is huge, I hate the way my face is shaped, my boobs aren't perky..." 

When we do this we are focusing on the negatives and not what is good about ourselves. Start appreciating yourself with what you have. If you have a mirror and a white board marker (or just a simple pen and paper will do) make a list. And every day you look at yourself in the mirror and think horrible things about yourself- write yourself a compliment. Over time, you should have a few or more lovely things about yourself on your mirror. And every time you check yourself out, you can read all of those lovely things and say to yourself "I'm looking fineeeee today!"


Accept what you can not change & change what you can't accept

I LOVE this quote! There are so many different options and ways to change your body.  Let's say if you hate your ears... what is hating your ears doing? You are stuck with them forever, so you may as well learn how to love them. And this goes for every other part of your body. I'm not saying to pump needles into your face and chop & change yourself.... I'm talking about exercising to boost your confidence. Using a nice perfume to smell lovely every day. Rock your hair in a cool braid. Whatever really floats your boat. 

Although, exercise is a great way to boost confidence! I know when I get into running, I feel so powerful. I get out there, get some sun, listen to music and when I'm running, I feel like I can out run anything- all of my problems, fears, worries... And I always feel fantastic after! Maybe it's because I'm not focusing on getting fit and loosing 10 kgs, I'm doing purely because it makes me feel good. Obviously, running isn't for everyone. In my previous posts, I talked about dancing and uplifting your mood that way. There is yoga, pilates, boxing, dance, pump, spin, blowing bubbles... find something that works for you! 


Be yourself  

One of the worst things that you can do is to try to be like someone else, or fit into someone else square of what's 'right'. Just because it might be right for them, certainly doesn't mean it's going to fit you. This has my name all over it!

At this current time of my life, I feel like sometimes I have no idea who I am, or better yet what I am doing. For example, if I spend time with a couple of 30 or so year olds- my mature side comes out. Where if I spend time with people who are younger than me, I feel like I need to be more silly and make bad decisions. I have learnt to be myself through these different age contrasts. Where before, I was trying to be someone else just to feel more comfortable and fit in. This is not a good idea as you then  bring the wrong people into your life!

If you be yourself, you'll attract the right people. You will have better friendships. And a better relationship with yourself. If you're a tee shirt and jeans girl- then rock those jeans. And if you like nothing more than pretty dresses- than wear a pretty dress every day of your life. Don't care what anyone else thinks. Don't let anyone else stop you. You will thank yourself later! Although, I think self acceptance comes when you mature. If little 16 year old me read this, I would probably laugh then tell some boy that I love video games just so I could kiss him. Yes, really.


Learn to accept compliments

And of course, accept your own compliments for yourself. Next time someone compliments you, don't be shy and reflect the compliment- just say thank you. You might not feel it, but rejecting the compliment isn't going to make you feel any better, is it? Take the compliment. And say something nice back. Just like in my previous THP posts I have talked about doing little things to make yourself feel better which has more so been about yourself and changing the way that you think/ feel... Branch out and start to change it towards others. So others that you are confidence. 

For decades of time woman (and men!) have been made to feel like they can't accept a compliment. i.e: "You look really nice today!" "ohh... really?... no I just look fat/ stupid/ ugly/ some other stupid negative comment..." and shrug it off. Or if you where to reply "Thanks!" You get the whole Mean Girls thing "so,you think you're pretty?" We need to break this barriers and say "hell yeah, I do feel good about myself today!"

Sometimes you might not have someone there to compliment you and make yourself feel better- expect for your mum... you're mum will always think you are the most beautiful thing on Earth. Am I right?! Instead, why not try complimenting someone? See how they react! Break those barriers! Make someone feel good! I bet you will feel good  about yourself afterwards. 

It's all about what's on the inside 

Roald Dalh said: If you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.

That is up there with one of my favourite quotes! If really doesn't matter if you think you have a bent nose, a crooked tooth, a wonky eye- all that matters is what is on the inside. And if you can show that you are happy, have good thoughts, are positive, kind to yourself and others. It really will show.


REMEMBER

♥ Loving yourself isn't going to be something that happens over night. But if you can work on it gradually, you will defiantly get to a happier place with yourself!

♥ There isn't supposed to be 'one' look or body type. That is what makes us so different & unique! 

♥ Its better to have 1 great friend then 10 who don't care for you!

♥ Always, always, always remember that you are perfect the way you are!



If you have been really the last 3 THP you will start to see how all of this starts tying in week by week to each other.  So now that we have tackled self love, next weeks post will be love in relationships: your friends, family, love life. Because being in love with yourself will allow others to treat you better, and love you better. So stay tuned!

Much love, Emily x 

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